April 2017

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I have had a busy, busy day so far today, rearranging my closet and moving my stuff from the drawers in the bedroom into the new furniture in the guest room. I have also banished my sentimentality (almost*) and donated a bunch of old clothes and shoes to Goodwill. Some of these I have had since high school. Most of it I haven't worn in years, but because I tend to buy only things that I really really love, then I get attached to things.

I kept one shirt and one dress that I can't bear to part with.

As a result I wasn't on the computer much today, but when I did pop in, someone over at ff.net had followed and favorited and poured the whole bucket of ff.net accolades on me and AMC ... except to comment on the story. :^| To be fair, maybe she or he hasn't read the whole thing yet and wants to wait till the end. (In which case, she or he might regret all those follows and favorites, as I once had a person on ff.net give all kinds of adorations to the early chapters of AMC only to eventually comment that she or he wasn't reading it anymore because the characters pee too much. They probably do! But the story was written in a different era of fandom, and that was rebellious then, to have your Elves pee in a story, back when people used to debate with straight faces whether Elves experienced pain during childbirth, farted, or sweated ... or whether Maedhros needed to eat on Thangorodrim or Elves had pink blood or the other crazy shit being bandied about in those days.) But it's always interesting to me, too, when people follow a work that is not only completed but has been completed for years. I'm not sure what that's supposed to prove? What's to follow, as the story is complete and therefore no longer being updated? Is it an oversight? A compliment? Am I reading too much into this?

Every few months or so, I search my pen name and the SWG's name on Google because it's always best to know what's being said (or brewing drama) before getting blindsided by it. (I've never found anything negative about the SWG, but there was an "I Hate Dawn Felagund" forum on ff.net for a while!) During my most recent search, I discovered that there was a debate concerning me and AMC on Tumblr. Apparently, someone recced AMC, and someone replied with a "counter-rec" (or something like that), in which nasty remarks were made about the story. I believe the "counter-rec" post was deleted--at least, I could never find it--but the conversation in reblogs of the original rec led me to believe that they were not critical remarks about the story but nasty, uncivil remarks. Critical I can do! In fact, I doubt anyone can, at this point, tell me anything about AMC that I haven't been personally mortified over already. I sometimes worry that the story has been so thoroughly labeled a "classic" that people feel they have to like it or can't criticize it, when the truth is that there are a lot of things in terms of interpretation and writing that could be done much better.

Anyway, it was ... weird. It was weird to have my work so intensely discussed without my knowledge, and it was weird to see people come to the defense of the story and friends come to my defense personally about the uncivil remarks. (I was grateful to those who did. You know who you are!) People have, of course, said nasty and inappropriate things to and about me and my work before--there was a hate forum dedicated to me, after all, and for all I know, there still is! (it doesn't show up in the Google results anymore and I don't delve any deeper into ff.net than I have to)--and I've had my share of tangles with the cretins on ff.net, but this was a first.

Speaking of firsts, I also posted a full-length work for the first time on Tumblr. Well, it was a poem. (This poem!) I usually post just links to my work there because I'm not very comfortable with the idea of reblogging and having my work drift so far out of my control that I can't edit or delete it later if I want to. But it occurred to me the other day that when I reblog things that have a "Read more" jump, then only the link reblogs and not the content under the link. Am I missing something here? So reblogging only reblogs the "Read more" link and I can still edit the original (to which that link points) to my heart's content? Tumblr is not my favorite format for a variety of reasons (but then there are things that I really do like about it), but as I begin to see the light at the end of the tunnel in terms of grad school, I'm thinking about a life again with room for things like writing and blogging on that dust-filled tomb called the Heretic Loremaster and researching things that I want to research and write about, and a heavy fannish presence on Tumblr is the reality right now, so I'd rather figure things out now, when I don't have much to say, then to be staggering around like an idiot when I am writing stuff worth sharing and missing out on opportunities. Or something like that.
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