I read this too! I don't know if you have a full time job, but if you do, you need to quit so you can write stories about Feanor all day long!!!!
I loved it!!!
I have one bit of concrit, if you can believe I stopped SQUEEING long enough to form a coherent thought. The bit where Feanor thinks "My father is dead" and then the next paragraph says "and his son before him." I got confused as to what he meant at first and had to read it a few times. Feanor's son dead before (prior to) Finwe? (I know this isn't the case). Feanor's son dead before (in front of) Feanor? It took me a while to figure out his son was standing before him.
No biggie, just one little thing that was weird for me.
Two parts I especially liked was the bit about "an arm that used to wield a hammer and make beautiful things that bends back now and uses all of its strength to hurl the fire at the white ships" and when Fingon (I believe it's Fingon) falls onto his knees in agony. It's so very poignant.
Like I said...Keep Writing! PLEASE! ...need...Feanor...fix....
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I loved it!!!
I have one bit of concrit, if you can believe I stopped SQUEEING long enough to form a coherent thought. The bit where Feanor thinks "My father is dead" and then the next paragraph says "and his son before him." I got confused as to what he meant at first and had to read it a few times. Feanor's son dead before (prior to) Finwe? (I know this isn't the case). Feanor's son dead before (in front of) Feanor? It took me a while to figure out his son was standing before him.
No biggie, just one little thing that was weird for me.
Two parts I especially liked was the bit about "an arm that used to wield a hammer and make beautiful things that bends back now and uses all of its strength to hurl the fire at the white ships" and when Fingon (I believe it's Fingon) falls onto his knees in agony. It's so very poignant.
Like I said...Keep Writing! PLEASE! ...need...Feanor...fix....