Throughout the whole story, I like the way that you have described a community of characters and hierarchies. I like the way you have imagined the system works. Personally, I find this is very difficult to do and I admire the way you can describe these societies.
In this chapter I love how you describe Eressetor’s growing attraction to Ornisso.
With me it was different...
Eressetor, as you describe him, is such a private person. His sensitivity is like an open wound. I love how you develop his character and how we get to know him so very gradually.
There was a dull roaring in my ears...
That rat-bastard!
*SHHH! Talban! How'd he get in here?*
Oh, how he must have hoped for it...
This chapter develops like a separate story of its own. I love how Eressetor’s father gives him an “out” and how Eressetor cannot be dishonest and take it.
Not long after...
This is so true to life. If a marriage does not have a strong bond to begin with then it will never withstand a traumatic event. The two people involved will not be able to comfort each other, or they may take two opposite sides as in this case with Eressetor’s parents. You have done a great job of describing this rift between them.
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rosecarmine
(no subject)
Date: 2006-08-21 12:02 pm (UTC)In this chapter I love how you describe Eressetor’s growing attraction to Ornisso.
With me it was different...
Eressetor, as you describe him, is such a private person. His sensitivity is like an open wound. I love how you develop his character and how we get to know him so very gradually.
There was a dull roaring in my ears...
That rat-bastard!
*SHHH! Talban! How'd he get in here?*
Oh, how he must have hoped for it...
This chapter develops like a separate story of its own. I love how Eressetor’s father gives him an “out” and how Eressetor cannot be dishonest and take it.
Not long after...
This is so true to life. If a marriage does not have a strong bond to begin with then it will never withstand a traumatic event. The two people involved will not be able to comfort each other, or they may take two opposite sides as in this case with Eressetor’s parents. You have done a great job of describing this rift between them.
Another great chapter, brilliantly developed!