Medium Dawn Felagund of the Fountain

Back with more nitpicking, if you'll have me!

"...the his Ada-smell that is like..."

I think the "the" should be deleted here! ;-)

"...I give her the wickedest stare I can conjure and tighten my grip on Nelyo..."

I love that! What cute little elfling! And so possessive! SQUEEE!

"My parents had finally drowned."

That really brought tears to my eyes. What a powerful image!

"...if my brother loves anything, it is for things to be orderly.

Excellent characterization.

"She puts her hand on his arm then, lightly, barely touching him, but his stiffness falls away."

I love the little gestures you use so perfectly to set a scene!

Excellent chapter!