Interesting that he seems to perceive the world in a different way, so much so that he forgets about such things as speech.
I love your description of Finwë as a boulder, compared to Fëanor as a twist of steel.
*Chuckles at Carnistir's unique view of biting* He really is an oddity yet, at this stage in his life at least, really means well!
Another hint of Celegorm's developing character... his almost desperate need not to be left out. Makes me wonder why that is... Having so many brothers maybe? Hmmm food for thought there!
An interesting outsider’s view on Fëanor’s love for his father... the deep love that in the end contributed to Fëanor’s downfall. I like it!
Poor Macalaurë/Maglor (I have yet to get my head round the Quenya names!) the comparison with a dying deer was rather funny in a slightly morbid way!
I like the touch of resentment Fëanor has for his half-brothers, resentment that must have grown steadily over the years until it finally ended in his betrayal if Fingolfin. Here it seems to be in an earlier stage and in a way; I see this trait as something he passed on to Celegorm.
The darkness in Carnistir's mind, especially at such a young age, is unsettling and maybe explains why he was something of a loner in his adult life - maybe all those thoughts and emotions he could feel were just too much for him. Yet with that in mind, I wonder how he was ever able to commit kinslayings.
I like that that Fingolfin was wise enough not to let his brother's dislike of him stand in the way of what was best for his children - it's just a shame Fëanor wasn't as flexible!
OK the description of Carnistir's 'inner eyes' was nicely written, but it made me feel a little - queasy!
I'm a little uncertain that the word 'weird' really belongs here... I think 'strange' is more in keeping with the style.
//Tyelkormo has a temper that dies as quickly as it rises// Recalling Fëanor’s anger in the last chapter, when Carnistir misbehaved at the dinner table It seems that they are very much alike in temperament.
//only cold, chaste affection// Hmm, I'm not sure I can see other Elves being less loving, but I understand why you want to set Fëanor and his sons apart from the others.
Nice tension when Mirel is mentioned, and the use of the present tense provides the feeling on intensity and confusion which must have surrounded her death.
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rosecarmine
Belated chapter 4 review :)
Date: 2005-10-17 10:20 am (UTC)*Pouts as you've left Celegorm's head*
Interesting that he seems to perceive the world in a different way, so much so that he forgets about such things as speech.
I love your description of Finwë as a boulder, compared to Fëanor as a twist of steel.
*Chuckles at Carnistir's unique view of biting* He really is an oddity yet, at this stage in his life at least, really means well!
Another hint of Celegorm's developing character... his almost desperate need not to be left out. Makes me wonder why that is... Having so many brothers maybe? Hmmm food for thought there!
An interesting outsider’s view on Fëanor’s love for his father... the deep love that in the end contributed to Fëanor’s downfall. I like it!
Poor Macalaurë/Maglor (I have yet to get my head round the Quenya names!) the comparison with a dying deer was rather funny in a slightly morbid way!
I like the touch of resentment Fëanor has for his half-brothers, resentment that must have grown steadily over the years until it finally ended in his betrayal if Fingolfin. Here it seems to be in an earlier stage and in a way; I see this trait as something he passed on to Celegorm.
The darkness in Carnistir's mind, especially at such a young age, is unsettling and maybe explains why he was something of a loner in his adult life - maybe all those thoughts and emotions he could feel were just too much for him. Yet with that in mind, I wonder how he was ever able to commit kinslayings.
I like that that Fingolfin was wise enough not to let his brother's dislike of him stand in the way of what was best for his children - it's just a shame Fëanor wasn't as flexible!
OK the description of Carnistir's 'inner eyes' was nicely written, but it made me feel a little - queasy!
I'm a little uncertain that the word 'weird' really belongs here... I think 'strange' is more in keeping with the style.
//Tyelkormo has a temper that dies as quickly as it rises// Recalling Fëanor’s anger in the last chapter, when Carnistir misbehaved at the dinner table It seems that they are very much alike in temperament.
//only cold, chaste affection// Hmm, I'm not sure I can see other Elves being less loving, but I understand why you want to set Fëanor and his sons apart from the others.
Nice tension when Mirel is mentioned, and the use of the present tense provides the feeling on intensity and confusion which must have surrounded her death.