April 2024

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Back in the day before I decided that my grubby little fingers belonged being in some way involved with everything Silmarillion-related on the Internet, I used to do movie reviews in my LJ weekly. Sometimes they were so long that they took hours to do. This was also the days when I used to go to Pit of Voles daily and whine if there were less than five new stories posted. Needless to say, I'm not sure I want to take that sort of time now, but I will give what amounts to short-n-sweet reviews, for me.

Since I wasn't allowed on the computer this weekend for reasons of hopefully stalling my slow descent into insanity, I had to do something. So I did about two dozen monster blocks for my D&D group (yes, really), finished Oryx and Crake, and watched four movies.


Grizzly Man
Grizzly Man is a Sundance Award-winning documentary about Timothy Treadwell, who lived on the Alaskan penninsula, unarmed, among grizzly bears for thirteen years. Unfortunately for Tim, at the end of the unlucky thirteenth year, he literally got eaten by one, but not before collecting hundreds of hours of footage of the Alaskan wildlife and--incidentally--himself as well.

Getting this movie was Bobby's idea, but as I'm game for nearly anything (see the meme list below, where you will see that I have seen some truly bad movies), especially documentaries and independent movies, I had no problem with it. I wasn't sure what to expect: a wildlife documentary? The March of the Penguins with bears? Some pie-eyed ecologist lamenting about global warming and the spotted owl?

It was nothing like that. This movie was literally rivetting. It started with the bears, yes, but quickly began to delve more and more in Treadwell's life, showing footage he'd shot and never intended to use in his own films. In front of the camera, it became almost a journal for him, and he vented his frustrations and aspirations and--with such personal insight--his true character was revealed.

It was stated early in the movie that Treadwell had been on medication for mental illness earlier in his life, and that he'd discontinued taking it, not liking the feeling of "normalcy." (This is not unusual in bipolar people, who often like the feeling of mania.) In many ways, his story was that of the cliche actor: He went to Hollywood as a teenager and sought film roles. He got into alcohol and drugs and ended up working in foodservice, "acting" as a squire at a place that sounds a lot like Medieval Times. He had a brush with death by overdose. He tried AA and the whole gamit of substance abuse treatments; they didn't work because he didn't want them to work. When he began going to Alaska, he made a pledge to the bears to protect them and to stay sober to do so.

Treadwell spoke to schoolchildren about the Alaskan wilderness for free, a point that was often brought up, often by him. Throughout the whole movie, I couldn't help but think that his gig in Alaska was nothing but another acting job for him. I'm sure he loved the wilderness there and the bears, yes, but I believe he also loved the attention. He constantly mentioned how generous he was to do his lectures for free; he mentioned several times the following he had developed. I couldn't help but thinking of narcissism cloaked in benevolence. Furthering this was the notion that he often harped on the fact that he was alone in the wilderness with no one but wild animals for company...but he often took his girlfriend along and was very careful to keep her off-camera. So was he filming his life? Or a version of his life that was more entertaining than the reality?

Not that I'm faulting him; I believe that many--or most--altruistic actions (particularly those involving a lot thought and planning) are motivated largely by personal desires versus true "selflessness." He believed he was helping, yes--a point, however, that was countered by some ecologists and locals--but he was also placing a rather large, bright spotlight on himself. And he was an actor: Am I supposed to believe that he didn't want this?

Toward the end of the movie, his charmingly obnoxious craziness began to take a more sinister turn. He became delusional, pointing to innocuous grafitti as a sign that he was being stalked and threatened by people who disagreed with his lifestyle and philosophies. He had an all-out rant against the Park Service (which made me feel relatively better about my use of the f-bomb in daily conversation!) full of paranoia and accusations. Ironically, he was still in Alaska at the time of his death because of a misunderstanding at the airport. Frustrated, he returned to the wilderness to find that the only bears left were those weakened by hunger, and he was killed literally hours before his helicopter landed to take him back to California.

So my rating? 3.5 Keebler E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four! An engrossing, rivetting movie!



Munich
I know this film is generating a lot of controversy, and for once, this is not a place where I am going to dip my toes. *gasp* Dawn Felagund? Turning down the opportunity for a political rant?? Yes, actually. I really don't know a whole lot about this controversy, and I refuse to base my opinions on skewed media reports and movies. Furthermore--after the movie--my sister asked where the controversy was, and my reply, to which Bobby agrees, is that this issue is one that is controversial just to mention. If you show either side--regardless of whether you also show the other or not--you're guilty in someone's eyes. So I'm staying out of that, altogether.

Given that, I went into this movie to be entertained, not sent into a rage or motivated into any sort of action. Perhaps this sounds horrible to some, but this was my outlook. Given that, Munich was--for me--a movie about a man and the way he changed over the course of his unusual--indeed impossible--mission.

The premise of Munich, for those that don't know, is based around the abduction and murder of Israeli Olympic athletes by terrorists during the 1972 Munich Olympic games. Avner (Eric Bana) is an Israeli Mossad agent who is given a strange mission: to assassinate, one by one, each of eleven people implicated in planning and executing the Munich attack. He is given a posse of four "experts" and unlimited funding. He makes a contact with a man named Louie who magically seems to know the location of each of his targets...and Avner finds himself embroiled as well in Louie's bizarre family that makes its fortune off of finding and selling information to individuals and organizations around the world yet refuses to deal in any way with governments.

I found the evolution of Avner's character fascinating. (Go figure! Give Dawn a character she can pick apart, and she's happy, right?) He began as an ordinary man with a pretty boring job and an expecting wife...he ended in a mess that could not possibly end, as he found himself targetting not only the original names on the list but also their replacements and other agents who became entangled in his plot, suddenly paranoid and unable to resume his life, so persistent are his thoughts on Munich and what he has also done--and how he has solved nothing but in fact made things much worse.

I give Munich 3.5 Keebler E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four.



Youngblood (yes, really)
Bobby is determined, I think, to make me watch every hockey movie in existence. I think I'm actually almost there...but I'm missing Slapshot. Yes, Slapshot, which is Teh Hockey Movie. (Personally, so far, my favorite is without a doubt Mystery Alaska. I love this movie enough to almost forget there's even hockey in it! [Somewhere, a husband is scowling.])

Bobby got Youngblood for Christmas, and through our bizarre movie selection process, we ended up watching it on Monday night. It is in many ways the typical sports movie: Small town kid with big dreams gets the chance of a lifetime at being discovered by pro teams, but arrives without expecting the real world of his sport to be as relentlessly cruel as it is. He makes an enemy, usually on a team so much better than his second-place franchise, and the battle is on.

And, yep, that's Youngblood. There's even the superstar athlete who suffers the career-ending injury, although to the movie's credit, he didn't make a stunning comeback just in time for the championship game. Although Dean Youngblood (a young Rob Lowe)--the main character--did make such a comeback.

Youngblood is an extraordinary player but with soft hands and not a lot of aggression...and the Canadian junior league where he plays, blood is regularly spilled on the ice. He gets his place on the team over a more aggressive and less skilled beast of a fighter (Racki), and Racki is his enemy ever after. Furthermore, when Racki is picked up by another team, the team turns out to be a nightmare: blatantly hurting other players while the near-sighted ref looks the other way.

Youngblood even had a montage. Bobby and I howled at this: We've seen Team America: World Police too many times and sing the songs way too much. And the soundtrack was shamelessly '80s with synthesizer music at the tense spots. So, even though it was very much a cliche sports movie, it had a bit of edge--like the housemother who routinely deflowers each of the rookies--and gets extra points for having a bona fide montage.

Sex and shameless cliches spell two Keebler E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four which, believe me, for a sports movie, is not a bad score.




Dukes of Hazzard
I've saved the best for last.

*waits for howling to subside*

I'm a sucker for a stupid comedy, I admit. Bobby and I have American Pie, Old School, and Eurotrip on our shelves at home. Dumb, crude humor--the more raucous sex, the better--and I'm there. We call these our "stupid movies," for when we want to kick back and laugh without a lot of thinking.

When we went to Blockbuster on Friday, we got Grizzly Man as our serious movie and Dukes of Hazzzard as our stupid movie.

But Dukes was so blatantly unfunny...it wasn't even funny. In fact, it was less funny than that stupid pun I just tried to make work, and I think we'll all agree that's pretty unfunny.

The jokes literally gave me the feeling of skating along, tripping, and falling flat on my face. There was this expectant pause like, "You're supposed to laugh here." And I'd shrug, "Really? Why?"

Bobby and I, while discussing these four movies on Tuesday night and which we liked and didn't and why, both agreed that this movie is beyond bad and into the realm of Teh Suck.

Beyond being horribly unfunny, I couldn't suspend disbelief to even begin to buy the ploys they were trying to pull. The General Lee (which is their awful-looking orange car, for those of you unfamiliar with the movie/TV series) literally jumped four times over obstacles: twice over chasms/rivers, once off a tow-truck's raised platform, and once (I can't even make this up) off of an incline onto the freeway. Wow.

We were also expected to buy the notion that the "town boss" could shut down the roads leading to the courthouse where a controversial hearing was being held about whether or not the town could be stripmined, and that was purely legal.

We were expected to buy the notion that a planted moonshine still can be found on one's property, and by the next day, the land and the car have been sold to the highest bidder. All without a trial, of course, because we don't have them in America.

And after eluding police, escaping from prison, throwing firebombs at pursuing cops, and stealing a car, the governor will pardon all involved "jus' fer the heck of it."

Hmph.

Sorry, but no. Such blatant stupidity seems like cheating to me, like a story written by a fifth-grader to amuse his fifth-grade friends, when anything is possible and a story need not conform to some version of logic and order to claim to take place in our world.

So my disappointed rating is a meager half Keebler E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookie out of four. With all the fudgy-good filling licked out. Chewed and regurgitated. Yes, it's that bad.


And...a meme! Gakked from [livejournal.com profile] digdigil and seen also at [livejournal.com profile] isil_elensar and [livejournal.com profile] rhapsody11. Now it's time to see exactly how much of a freak I am!

Copy and Repost. Place your score in the subject line. (Well, I'm not exactly following the last bit....)
Put an X next to every movie you've seen---if you have more than 70 ...you're a movie junkie. (I'm bolding those that I've seen.)


Pirates of the Caribbean
The Mexican
Fight Club
Starsky and Hutch
Neverending Story
Blazing Saddles
Garden State
The Princess Bride
Young Frankenstein
AnchorMan
Napoleon Dynamite
Saw
White noise
White OleanderX
Anger Management

total here: 9

50 First Dates
Jason
Scream
Scream 2
Scream 3
Scary Movie
Scary Movie 2
Scary Movie 3
American PieX
American Pie 2
American Wedding
Harry Potter
Harry Potter 2
Harry Potter 3
Resident Evil
Resident Evil 2
The Wedding Singer
Little Black Book

total here : 16

The Village
Donnie Darko
Lilo & Stitch
Finding Nemo
Finding Neverland
13 Ghosts
Signs
The Grinch
Texas Chainsaw Massacre
White Chicks
Butterfly Effect
13 goin on 30
I, Robot
Dodgeball
Universal Soldier
A Series Of Unfortunate Events
Along Came A Spider
Deep impact

total here: 11

KingPin
Never Been Kissed
Meet The Parents
Meet the Fockers
Eight Crazy Nights
A Cinderella Story
The Terminal
The Lizzie McGuire Movie
Passport to Paris
Dumb & Dumber
Dumb & Dumberer
Final Destination
Final Destination 2
Halloween
The Ring
The Ring 2
Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle
Practical Magic
Chicago
Ghost Ship
From Hell
Hellboy
Secret Window
I Am Sam
The Whole Nine Yards
The Whole Ten Yards
The Day After Tomorrow
Child's Play
Bride of Chucky
Ten Things I Hate About You
Just Married
Gothika
Nightmare on Elm Street
Sixteen Candles
Bad Boys
Bad Boys 2
Joy Ride
Seven
Oceans Eleven
Oceans Twelve
Identity

total here: 22

Lone Star
Predator I
Predator II
Independence Day
Cujo
A Bronx Tale
Darkness Falls
Christine
ET
Children of the Corn
My boss' daughter
Maid in Manhattan
Frailty
How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
She's All That
Calendar Girls
Sideways
Mars Attacks

total here : 4

Event Horizon
Ever after
Forrest Gump
The Others
Freaky Friday
Reign of Fire
The Hot Chick
Swimfan
Miracle
Old School
Ray
The NotebookX
K-Pax

total here : 9

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
A walk to remember
Boogeyman
Hitch
The Fifth Element
Star Wars episode I The Phantom Menace
Star Wars episode II Attack of The Clones
Star Wars episode III Revenge of The Sith
Star Wars episode IV A New Hope
Star Wars episode V The Empire Strikes Back
Star Wars episode VI Return of the Jedi
Troop Beverly Hills
Swimming with Sharks
Air Force One
For Richer or Poorer
People under the stairs
Blue Velvet
Sound of Music
Parent Trap
The Burbs
The Terminator
Empire Records
Meet Joe Black
Clockwork Orange
The Order
Spiderman
Spiderman 2
Amelie
Scotland, PA
The Graduate

total here: 19

Mean Girls
Shrek
Shrek 2
The Incredibles
Collateral
The Fast & The Furious
Fast 2 Furious
Sky Captain And The World Of Tomorrow
Closer

total here: 6

Titanic
Saved
Bowling For Columbine
Farenheit 9/11
The Sixth Sense
Artificial intelligence
Love, Actually
Shutter
Ella Enchanted
Princess diaries 1
Princess diaries 2
Constantine
Million Dollar Baby
Envy
Eurotrip
Malibu's Most wanted
Big Daddy
Black Sheep
The Breakfast Club
West side story

total here : 10

A Christmas Story
Spanglish
Pulp Fiction
Sleepover
The Evil Dead
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
The Seed of chucky
Vanilla Sky
Nightmare Before Christmas
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Interview With The Vampire
The Crow
Purple Rain
Wayne's World

total here: 5

Wayne's World 2
21 Grams
Blow
Edward Scissorhands
Clerks
Beauty and the Beast
Guess who
Monster-in-Law
Elf
Stuart Little
Stuart Little 2
Chasing amy
Dogma
Jay & Silent Bob Strike BackX

total here : 3

Beetlejuice
Last Samurai
The Amityville Horror
The Aviator
Romeo and Juliet
Barbershop
Barbershop 2
Beauty Shop
Legally Blonde
Legally Blonde 2
The Forgotten
Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen
The Grudge

total here: 5

Grand total: 119

Jenni has me beat by a lot, but I still meet the "freak" classification by quite a margin!

[livejournal.com profile] isil_elensar, it might amuse you to know that literally one minute after putting Incubus as my current music, my iPod chose "Wild Boys" for me to hear next. I think the thing likes playing tricks on me, really....

(no subject)

Date: 2006-01-05 07:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-nightowl.livejournal.com
Those movie memes are fun. :o) I might just nick it!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-01-05 08:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] miss-nightowl.livejournal.com
Gwah, know the feeling. I remember coming out of the theatre after watching "Troy" - I was so GRUMPY over the fact that I had wasted hours on that movie!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-01-05 07:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isil-elensar.livejournal.com
I s'pose it just goes to show that I'm not really that much of a movie junkie. But in my defense, this didn't list a lot of the movies I *have* seen... so there... LOL!

isil_elensar, it might amuse you to know that literally one minute after putting Incubus as my current music, my iPod chose "Wild Boys" for me to hear next. I think the thing likes playing tricks on me, really....

That's a very weird combination in song play, but I really like your iPod's sense of taste. LOL! But if you don't want to hear Duran Duran so much... you *could* send it to me and I'll listen happily for... ever... ;-)

(no subject)

Date: 2006-01-05 08:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] isil-elensar.livejournal.com
I think maybe naming your iPod Melkor would've been better. System of a Down followed by Madonna?? LOL! omgomgomgomg!

But I have to say, I like most of Madonna's stuff too. Especially the new song she has out... 'Hung Up'

And all the Duran needs to stay! They have the perfect song to go with just about any mood... any day! Might be a wee bit obscure sometimes, but that's what makes them better!

(no subject)

Date: 2006-01-05 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] digdigil.livejournal.com
Oh, I want to see Munich so bad! But I finally talked my sister into going to see Brokeback Mountain! And so if all goes well I shall be seeing it on Sunday!!! SQUEEEEE!!!

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