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About a half-hour ago, I had a scare. Now before you think that I almost got run over or a convict escaped from the prison behind the office, it's nothing serious. It probably wouldn't even be scary to a non-geek like me. But I went to post a comment in my RPG
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themidhavens and...nothing. At first I thought it might be an LJ problem, but then I tried opening the VINELink Search for Offender page and...::crickets:: nothing. Two weeks ago, my Internet at work went caput and just about went mad from boredom. The thought of that happening again scared me so much that I actually did some work to keep myself from thinking about it.But, as you can see, my Internet is fine because I am writing this from work. (And all my work is done too...so no enterprising individuals need to write to the governor of Maryland about how he has some geek in P&P who just sits around and writes stories and LJ entries all day. He's an @$$h0!e anyway and probably wouldn't even listen.)
It occured to me that I haven't been getting much creative work done at home because Bobby and I have been watching *a lot* of movies. We are both huge movie fans, but quite a spell went by where--if it wasn't something nerdy that we had to see because we were going to see it with our friends--then we weren't watching anything at all.
So within the last week or so, we have watched six movies. When we were younger, Bobby and I used to see 'most anything that came into the theaters. Now? Harhar! We hardly see anything at all in the theaters. You can only see the same movie a dozen times--recast with different people, of course, and with the explosions done in slightly different places--before it starts to get dull. Bobby is more content watching these kinds of movies, but I have taken to ripping them apart. And I think I am rubbing off on him because he usually remarks on shallow characterization, at least. I am not trying to toot my own horn or anything, but *my* writing is better than some of the stuff that is passed off onscreen as legitimate plots and characters.
Bobby and I have two movie weakness:
-The Somewhat Respectable Weakness: Foreign and independent films. We cruise our Hollywood Video looking for the little film festival symbols indicating that something has been honored or shown at a foreign/independent festival. It is more a leap of faith than something that has a glossy trailer and shows on the big screen, but when you strike gold, it is gold and not just something that will numb your brain for two hours.
-Dumb Horror Movies. The dumber the better. If it is like the 19th sequel, it is probably dumb enough for us. We like to sit and make fun of them. I usually yell--yes, really yell at the screen--when the characters do dumb things. Like wave a gun at the bad guy and not pull the trigger, allowing the bad guy to reach right over and take the gun. Please. If you're going to be a pansy and use a gun (versus being a bad-ass and using a sword or a knife), then at least have the balls to pull the trigger. As an example: Our favorite so far is a double-feature DVD with two films, one called Death Bed and the other called Castle Freak. The fact that we got two movies for the price of one made our Polish ancestors smile. And Castle Freak remains something of lore in the house of Dawn and Bobby.
So my six movies include two that you have probably heard of, two that are somewhat respectable, and two that are really dumb horror movies. Normally, I do movie reviews every week. I've been slacking, so I'm doing a whole bunch of quickies all at once.
Thirteen Seconds
Rating: One-quarter E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four...and I licked the fudge out first
Before I begin: Do not see this movie. Do not. It is bad for your soul. Your brain cells will implode a little with each passing minute. It should come with a Surgeon General's warning. Repeat: Do not watch it.
Bobby and I always have a lengthy to-do list for movie watching. We were cruising Hollywood Video and adding items to our list, when I found this little...ahem, thing. It was a horror movie *and* it had been honored at independent film festivals. It had even won things. What they probably didn't tell you was that it won "The Worst Movie *Ever* Award." Needless to say, since it met both of our criteria for movie-watching happiness, we rented it.
One thousand brain cells later, I must say that it is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. And I have seen lots. Lots. The acting was...well, suffice to say that *I* could do better. I don't feel able to comment on people's acting since I myself am so bad at it that I had to move my RPG to online format to avoid having to pretend to be characters. And I could overlook the bad acting--it's an independent film, right? low budget?--but the storyline wasn't even original. And the characters were stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Stay-in-the-haunted-house-instead-of-hauling-ass-down-the-road stupid!
Conclusion: Do not watch it. Just don't.
Team America: World Police
Rating: Three-and-a-half E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four
Three words: America! Fuck yeah!
Bobby and I actually saw this in the theater when it came out. When the fighter jets flew out of the Mount Rushmore "base" and that song kicked in--"America! Fuck yeah!"--I think I peed in the seat a little from laughing. (I told this to one of my RPG players and he said, "Really?" No, not really!)
It is the most godawful, inappropriate, merciless, and evil humor...and I love it! The new saying between my husband, our best pal Harry Potter, and I is "Durka durka. Muhammed. Jihad." If you've ever seen the movie, you will know what I mean. Oh, and there is a rather long puppet sex scene. Interesting....
If I could see any movie made into a musical (besides LotR, which already has been), then it would be this one. The songs are priceless. And it makes fun of everything. Liberals, conservatives, the military, the entertainment industry...no one is spared. And if you never thought a speech that centers around the concept that "dicks fuck pussies and assholes" (wow, a record four naughty words out of five!) could be both inspiring and slightly moving, then you need to see this movie.
Stratosphere Girl
Rating: Three-and-a-half E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four
This is one of our goofy film festival movies. We leaped on this one and landed on soft ground, though, luckily. This is a good movie. It has decent characters and a storyline that kept me intrigued until the last frame. (I won't spoil the ending, though!) It is also beautiful in parts, blending animated drawing with film in such a way that it is not overt and cheesy. Picture Aha's "Take on Me" music video without the '80s ham. At one point, the main character (who is a cartoonist, hence the animation) draws a thick pencil line down a page and it opens into two white doors...it is hard to explain, but suffice to say that I said, "Cool!" pretty loudly.
The story centers on a German runaway who dreams of being an artist...and lands a job as a "hostess" in a gentleman's club in Tokyo. When she discovers that one of the previous hostesses went missing after a foray at a private party held by one of the club's frequent--and wealthiest--patrons, she begins to draw her way to solving the mystery.
Alien Abduction
Rating: One-and-a-half E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four
Bobby has a shameless love of anything related to aliens. This is a typical evening at our house: Bobby lays down on the couch, switches on the "On Demand," and begins to scour the listings for alien shows. Bobby locates said alien show and begins watching it. Bobby watches two minutes of said alien show, throws down the remote control, and says, "Dammit! I saw this one already!"
So Alien Abduction was a natural choice for him. It was not a major movie, and so I thought it had an inkling of promise...a unique take on things, possibly. And it did. Talking about the movie afterwards, I told Bobby that, if anything, I had to give the filmmakers credit in that department. (Again, though, I won't spoil the ending. Trust that it is interesting though.) That is what kept it from getting only Elf cookie crumbs, like Thirteen Seconds.
The problem was that the story was presented in a rather...erm...over the top fashion. It was gratuitous, to say the least. I have a bona fide blood phobia but can make it through most movies without a problem. This one was gross. Like skull-drilling, face-exploding gross. And there was this army major with a British accent (?) who marched around in a mini-skirt and knee-high black boots...rather BDSM, if you ask me.
Some of the characters were annoying beyond empathy. There was this one blond girl who, after only two minutes of the movie, we all agreed should die first.
She makes it 'til the end. Rats.
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Rating: Two E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four
Let me start by saying that I like Will Ferrell. During his stint on SNL, you would often find me rolling on the floor with laughter. Just looking at the man makes me laugh. But this movie just didn't do it for me.
It was one of those movies that makes fun of something by presenting the truth in a glaring fashion in such a way that it must be funny. Kind of like Team America. Kind of like Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But this...this just didn't do it for me.
Maybe because I did not live through the '70s and am certainly not a newscaster (I can't even stand to watch the news), the jokes felt flat to me. Some of the characters had funny quirks, but they weren't necessarily exploited in the funniest manner.
There are some movies which I hate while I watch them the first time. I hated The Holy Grail while I was watching it but couldn't get it out of my head afterwards and watch it religiously now every few months. I kept waiting for the humor of Anchorman to hit me, and it still hasn't.
By the way, my RPG group--including my husband--would heartily disagree with this rating. So obviously, it is funny to *someone.* Maybe you're that person. But it doesn't get my vote.
City of God
Rating: Three-and-three-quarters E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four
City of God is a Brazilian film about a slum outside Rio de Janeiro where the poor are sent to keep the city pretty, refined, and tourist-friendly: the City of God. It follows a boy, "Rocket," who wishes to be a photographer. On the way, we are introduced to the whole cast of players in the City of God, from the low-liers to the gang leaders who run the city.
Normally, I don't like movies with five billion characters. They are hard to keep straight and, sharing the spotlight with 4.9 billion other characters, rarely get the characterization they deserve. Or they are Characters from a Can™, which is even worse. But the characters in City of God are surprisingly rich for their limited screen time, and I found myself empathizing with the worst of them. These are murderers, thieves, drug dealers...but if you want a portrait of how easy it is for someone to fall into this kind of life in some places in the world, watch this movie.
It is disturbing too, in an eye-opening way. In college, my focus in clinical psychology was to study post-traumatic stress disorder in childhood victims of political violence, a field that burgeoned after 9/11 brought it home. One of the sub-parts of this already specialized field is the study of "child soldiers," those children who get forced or connived into militias and gangs. In City of God, one of the gangs is a child gang, and they are treated with no more mercy than if they were adults. I shiver to remember.
Friends, do you have any movie recommendations to make? I am always looking for new things to add to my "must watch" list, so tell me your favorites. My favorites (if you were wondering):
1) The LotR trilogy. Of course. Despite its failings, this movie is what made me fall in love with Tolkien's world, and parts of it still give me goosebumps. I watched Fellowship open-mouthed (and may have swallowed a few flies--and didn't even notice!)
2) Hotel Rwanda. I saw this in the theater, and it was only showing in one place in our area. It is a stunning movie. It is one of the few movies that have the power to make me cry. In many places. Don Cheadle is spectacular; I wish he hadn't been up against Jamie Foxx so that he could have gotten the Oscar he deserved for this role.
3) Forrest Gump. I have watched this movie probably twenty times. I can quote almost the whole thing from memory. It still hasn't gotten old. It is the perfect blend of comedy, drama, romance, and real life, with characters I still wouldn't mind taking home.
4) Gattaca. The writer in me now sees the shortcomings of this movie. But I can't help but love it :) When I first saw it in a high school Biotechnology class (we had to have permission because Ethan Hawke's butt is in the movie!), I was awed by it. Even today, I think that Jerome (Jude Law) is one of the funniest and best characters ever. Needless to say, I hate the ending!
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(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 06:03 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 01:00 pm (UTC)::adds to list::
Thank you! :D
Movie Reviews
Date: 2005-07-27 01:21 pm (UTC)1) SHARPE'S SWORD, with Sean Bean. I think this is the best film in the series. Beautifully written and acted, it is dark, heart-wrenching and screamingly funny at the same time. Costars: His usual sidekicks, plus Emily Mortimer and James Purefoy, who are both awesome.
2) NED KELLY, with Heath Ledger and Orlando Bloom. Wow. All I can say is WOW. Dark. Heavy. Beautiful soundtrack. Awesome.
3) LOVE, ACTUALLY: I almost didn't see this, but thought "what the hell" and rented it in a weak moment. It's just fabulous - what a treat! NINE separate intertwined stories. It makes you pick a favorite but they're all good! It has too many stars to mention.
4) THE HORSE WHISPERER: A true work of art. Breathtaking. The hideous accident at the beginning could be too much for some viewers, though. I normally can't stand the actors in it, but I love them in this.
5) GATTACA: I LOVE Gattaca! I can't believe somebody else does! One of my all-time faves!
6) THE MAN IN THE MOON: An incredibly-acted 6-kleenex-box weepie! Stunning. Powerful ending. Reese Witherspoon and Jason London in their first movie, I think, and both actors do an amazing job, as do everyone else in the film.
7) ARMY OF DARKNESS: Third film in the Evil Dead series of films by Sam Raimi. They're all good, but this one especially. Horror. WAY over-the-top!
Okay, I have a LOT more to recommend, but too lengthy to do it all here and now! You really opened a can of worms here! You'll have to block me as a spammer 'cause I can keep on going!
Re: Movie Reviews
Date: 2005-07-27 01:57 pm (UTC)Would you believe I haven't seen any of those except for Gattaca (of course)? I read The Horse Whisperer and know that if the opening scene is anywhere *near* as gruesome on film as it was in print ::shudder:: That was well written imagery! Some of the images remain in my memory even now, years after reading the book.
I am a blood phobic but can tolerate most screen-gore, although it makes me highly nervous. But at the same time, I force myself to watch it because I can't stand being phobic and would love to overcome it! Unfortunately, it's pretty much an innate thing, I think.
I also can't believe that there is someone out there who has not only seen but loves Gattaca. I saw that movie when I was sixteen and have watched it *at least* once per year ever since. Usually more! It even inspired some futuristic writing in my younger years :)
Okay, now who's rambling? :D
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 04:32 pm (UTC)Psychology! Brilliant, brilliant. I need to talk with you about possible psychological ramifications of the Mary-Sue discussion one day...
The "metatheoretical
crap" belongs to a chapter about said "organizational governance", which is not that bad... but it's a hot day again, and when I have been writing I have always a HELL of a time to get back into anything else at all (except very simple, menial tasks, like laundry, doing the beds, dishes etc...).I want a monkey job, too.
*is SO envious*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 04:42 pm (UTC)Unless I'm writing, I check my email at least 900 times during the work day. And writing looks a little impossible right now. Maedhros insists on wandering around my office and playing with the police radios. People seem a bit alarmed to hear a Noldorin accent answering their calls!
Psychology! Brilliant, brilliant. I need to talk with you about possible psychological ramifications of the Mary-Sue discussion one day...
Anytime! My certificates were in clinical and biopsychology, but I studied bits of the rest too, of course. And clinical psychology might relate well to Mary Sues!
Is there anywhere in the world where it is *not* ungodly hot right now? It is about 100 degrees F in Maryland today. It was 100 degrees F in Maryland yesterday too. And Bobby and I have an outdoor concert tonight. ::grumble grumble::
I want a monkey job, too.
LOL! Yes, I call this my first retirement!
After being a kitchen manager, this is nice. Being a kitchen manager is pretty much 100% stress, 100% of the time, with a lot of physical labor and take-home work to occupy those hours better spent writing.
But I am a masochist, and once Bobby and I ease our college debts, I will be opening my own business. An ice cream store. So it will be kitchen manager again, to the nth degree. ::sigh:: I am not a fast learner, obviously....
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 04:55 pm (UTC)There are days when I really feel guilty about earning my second degree and trying to incorporate writing in my career afterwards.
Well, he always knew what I wanted... so it's probably not too unfair. *sigh*
I was so miserable during my assistantship (most of the time, at least) that I really, really prefer being an unemployed student & housewife (moonlighting as a writer I guess). How stupid is that, doing a university degree and earning a professional qualification and then...
...
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 05:08 pm (UTC)And in a job completely unrelated to clinical psychology or writing (my minor), except for when my boss borrows my skills as a copy editor.
Sometimes I get depressed about the worthlessness of my job, especially when I consider my husband, who barely has a moment to breathe at work and does a very important service for his country and also deals with very ugly people--terrorists, human smugglers, sex tourists--every day.
But then I consider that I am "biding my time," so to speak, until I can open my business and start doing something *real* again. And my job is steady and pays
meagerlypassably, which is the most important thing right now.I *could* apply at a firm somewhere, make 50K a year, and be miserable all my life...or I could sit around and feel worthless for a few years and spend the rest of my life doing work that I love. If I am miserable, then I will be sick more often and the stress will affect my marriage and my relationships with family and friends....
I remind myself of these things when I'm feeling blue about my job :)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 05:28 pm (UTC)I think I was biding my time studying law and getting my qualification as a lawyer... (and JEEZ was the pay lousy!)...
I *could* apply at a firm somewhere, make 50K a year, and be miserable all my life...
*nods*
That's what I think, too. But sometimes it's really hard to keep true to what I dream of, when I feel that I know what everyone else expects me to do is get that awesome career...
And I don't want an awesome career. (All that I have ever wanted in my life is writing stories. *SIGH* Not a very likely thing to ever earn any money with.)
I do enjoy working as a scholar, too. But again, there's little chance to ever really get a good job with that. I'm pretty smart, but I am not brilliant and I don't have a clue how to do the "connections game". And then there's our flagging economy. The jobs I applied for that I wanted to have I was one of a few thousand or a few hundred applicants each time.
Oh, well. I'll enjoy my last summer of relative freedom and get some monkey job in fall. The only thing I want out of a job is that it pays a little money and does not infere too much with my writing.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 06:25 pm (UTC)True, but if all the classic authors had said that.... ;)
I would say that, of all the writers that I know (and I mean this!) I can see you being most successful professionally. I *heart* your writing! When I worked for the literary magazine in college, I had these big ideas of how wonderful of writers must be out there...and I was disappointed once the submissions started coming in. I thought that maybe my heart had become hardened by all the badfics I had read! But your stories peel the calluses away :)
The jobs I applied for that I wanted to have I was one of a few thousand or a few hundred applicants each time.
That was me too! I made a few half-hearted attempts to get a psychology job after graduating. But in the US, most jobs in that field require a master's or doctoral degree because those degrees carry the credentials to treat patients, whereas a bachelor's does not. I applied for a graduate program in clinical psych with 400 applicants...and they were accepting at most 3 or 4. Needless to say, I didn't make it! But that's okay because my life would be in a very different and not necessarily happier place had I gotten my MA and PhD.
Oh, well. I'll enjoy my last summer of relative freedom and get some monkey job in fall. The only thing I want out of a job is that it pays a little money and does not infere too much with my writing.
You would love my job then! I get to write all day and make a little money. Very little! ;D
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 06:59 pm (UTC)I was not quite good enough to become a judge or an attorney (that's determined by the grades you get for your professional qualification exam here). And I knew that I simply could not work as a lawyer...
Then I got into the last round of 60 applicants for a job at the European parliament... out of several thousand applicants... a procedure that took 2 years of my life! *sigh*
I read a silly little novel by Nora Roberts about a woman running away from her professional career as a psychologist, incidentally, and going to Ireland, where she then becomes a writer. This heroine says, "If I am a mediocre writer, so what? At least I will be mediocre at something that I really love."
And you know what? I completely *heart* that silly little novel! Because it's true. I rather have a silly little job that gives me enough time to do the things I love than 80+ hours a week and the big money I will never be able to spend, because I don't have life, mind or heart left at the end of the week...
A meaningful career is a wonderful thing. Only I think I don't know anyone who really has a meaningful career. My friends who have a brilliant career have a rat race. And they have almost no interests left beyond work, food, sleep and the occasional party.
*sigh*
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 07:24 pm (UTC)Bobby and I were discussing this the other day, while we were watching Stratosphere Girl, which is set mainly in Tokyo, because of the Japanese trend to work *constantly.* I don't understand that. What's the point of making a lot of money if all you can spend it on is rent/mortgage for a place to sleep and nothing else?
Only I think I don't know anyone who really has a meaningful career.
Bobby has the most meaningful career of anyone I know. His work is important, and he loves what he is doing. But it is also highly stressful work at times. After the first London bombings, he worked a 19-hour day, from 6:30 am to 1 am. Luckily, that is not the norm!
We fully recognize, though, that his is the kind of job that leads to fast burnout. And so I fully plan to always have a spot for him at my ice cream shop!
I get a Monster career newsletter every week, from when I was unemployed, before finding the monkey job :) I just haven't thought to cancel it. And it sickens me, sometimes, the articles that are in it. The way people are encouraged to fall at the feet of their bosses and answer their every whim, but more the cutthroat attitude in most companies/careers these days, where you have to be ever-wary of being inferior to your friend and promote yourself at every turn. I don't think I could do that. I am not a flashy person. I have enough trouble SSPing the HA list! I like my work to speak for itself and not to spend a thirty-second elevator ride singing my praises to a superior.
Which is the best thing about having my own business: *I* am the boss! The same with being a writer :D
(Although, for *some* of us, the muses have been the boss lately.... ::sigh::)
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-27 08:28 pm (UTC)OK... I know a few people with really important jobs...
(If you are interested we can talk political stuff on YIM sometime)
I think if I had got the job at the EU, I would have worked till I dropped dead. And there is still the chance I'll get one of those jobs yet...
But I'd really rather not.
I just don't have enough drive.
(no subject)
Date: 2005-07-28 12:21 pm (UTC)I'll talk about anything!
Well...almost :D
I used to be really into following politics and international affairs, but it's all become very depressing for me lately. I can't stand to watch the news. Reading it is better, but still depresses me after a while. So all my information comes from chatting online and the occasional time when Bobby will come home and say, "Did you here about...."
And there is still the chance I'll get one of those jobs yet...
But I'd really rather not.
If it involves you dropping dead, then please don't! :(