![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Last Friday, Bobby and I needed a movie to see, and we ended up at The New World.
I started seeing previews for this over the summer and have been looking forward to it since then. To make matters worse, it was scheduled to be released in November, and here it is February and it's just now appearing.
It is rare when I am disappointed in a movie...but that's just what I was with this one.
Truth be told, the muses and I had a little confabulation in the middle part, after we realized that nothing much had happened and nothing much was going to happen. I figured my seven-dollar student ticket need not go to waste if I wrote a bit of my novel, and so that's what I did. Mentally, of course.
I am one of those people who will lap up a boring movie if she believes in the characters. And I sensed that this movie was trying to do just that: get the audience engrossed in feeling empathy for this white man and native American woman who fell in love. Only this fell flat on its face.
First of all, and I hate to be mean, but John Smith was played by Colin Farrell. Okay, when I see that guy, I think S.W.A.T. and The Recruit, and I cringe. It's like a conditioned response. So here comes Teh-Rebellious-But Nonetheless-Respected Leader ashore...only it's not John Smith. It's Colin Farrell. No matter what movie he's in, he just looks like...Colin Farrell. And to see Colin Farrell dancing around a campfire with feathers in his hair is just...funny.
The movie also liked to slip into the heads of all three protagonists. Only it felt rather random. And just as I think that few writers can pull off the omniscient third person PoV in a story, this movie failed to pull off on film. I felt almost like the scriptwriters were too lazy to show the audience what they were trying to do with action and dialogue, and so *plop* there you were in their heads, being told how insecure/mournful/determined/whatever they were.
About halfway through the movie, I realized that it must be the longest movie and the shortest script in the world. There was almost no dialogue...and while I can see how this would be effective in showing how two persons speaking vastly different languages and growing up in different cultures can nonetheless make a connection and begin to understand each other, this didn't seem to be the case. Afterward, Bobby said that he felt that half of the movie was sweeping nature scenes.
It felt to me like the writer/director had the idea to make a Serious Movie (tm). "Hey, we want to deal with the John Smith/Pocahantas story with some fresh, new insights and make a Serious Movie all about it." I felt almost like the director said, "This would be Cool!" at certain parts. A few cans of Literary Techniques were opened and emptied.
Nor did it end quickly. In fact, the ending seemed more drawn out than the ending of The Return of the King, and this one didn't have a half-dozen subplots to tie up. But when it did end, it was like, "She got sick with fever and died and said our hope would live in our son." Then the montage: deathbed, headstone, ship back to the New World. And I felt not a glimmer of sadness. One last sweeping nature scene (during which half of the audience started laughing), and it was over.
Something tells me that when the main character dies, you should feel...something?
My rating is a disappointed three-quarters of a Keebler E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookie out of four. And it's a rather stale three-quarter-cookie at that.
Then last night, Bobby and I wanted something silly and not requiring too much thought, and so we rented Waiting.
We wanted to see this when it first came out, but it was released around the same time as North Country and Jarhead and got the axe before we ever got to theaters.
Waiting follows a restaurant crew through an ordinary day on their jobs. Now most people who have never worked in a restaurant will laugh and think it an exaggerated portrait of life as a plate-slinger. No. No way. 95% of that movie is pure truth.
The Piece, the restaurant where I used to work, was a slightly more wholesome version of Shenaniganz, from the raucous cooks to the corny training videos to the guests who eat their whole meal and then complain about how bad it was...it was like returning to a day of work at The Piece. The characters, of course, were more caricatures than anything, but we certainly had our share of each "type." The main character even reminded me of a coworker/friend of mine named Jimmy to the point where I said something to Bobby, and he remarked, "I was thinking the exact same thing!" And there were always plenty of angsty where-am-I-going-with-my-life types, those who work in food but don't want to work in food yet never seem to make much of an effort to do otherwise.
Now I will defend The Piece in saying that we did not have a penis-showing game. (Although Jimmy did undress in the doorless soda room and was known not to wear underwear.) Bobby and our coworker/friend Dave did, however, have The Gauntlet, where they would ruthlessly beat any non-cook who tried to walk through the kitchen without reason. And they had a "football" game also that was played by throwing french fries against the wall and seeing where they would land on the grill. (If they went into the tray at the front, it was a "touchdown.") So we had our silly games...but they were slightly more wholesome than trying to get one's ball to resemble a bat wing.
Nor did I ever, during my tenure there, see a cook or server "abuse" the food. Stuff that was dropped was thrown away, and body fluids did not count as ingredients. However, before you abuse your foodservice worker, a lot of places do practice this as a form of revenge against rude guests. But The Piece had something of an open kitchen and a rather germophobic (and slightly mean) kitchen manager, so those things just didn't happen there.
But the "whip-hits" in the back...happened. The people who wanted to make out or have sex in the storage rooms...happened. That *one* party that comes in five minutes before closing and orders a big meal...happened all the time. And yes, taking out the trash does take ten minutes. Actually, it used to take my friend Andrew and me at least fifteen--sometimes twenty--while he hustled himself into an early grave with cigarettes and I memorized the constellations.
It is hard for me to give this movie a fair grade. It was almost like watching a nostalgic home video of a time long (and luckily?) gone by. I even had a bit of a longing to return to my days as a kitchen manager and cook, when you knew the store would function without just about anyone but you, leaving you free to act bizzarely and make up random rules to keep the servers busy. I miss sitting around at the end of the night while the servers count their money and compare notes, while the closers finish "marrying the condiments" and mopping the floors, until you all head over to someone's house to hang out or do the logical thing after getting off from work at a restaurant: go to a restaurant that's open later than yours and hang out.
So I forgo giving this movie any Elf cookies at the moment. My feelings are mixed...just as they are mixed about my time at The Piece.
Lastly, before I stopped rambling and try to capitalize on my last hour of peace and quiet (alone!) here at the office, I am getting ready to start up a new character in my original fantasy RPG. He is three-quarters Elven (so he looks rather Elfy) and has just come of age, with brown hair and green eyes. (But the eyes aren't important, as even I can doctor them in Photoshop, I think.) I've yet to find a suitable picture for him, so if anyone knows of any cute, brown-haired Elfy-looking guys, I would be much obliged! They can be photos or drawings. Simply point me in the right direction, and I will handle it from there.
I started seeing previews for this over the summer and have been looking forward to it since then. To make matters worse, it was scheduled to be released in November, and here it is February and it's just now appearing.
It is rare when I am disappointed in a movie...but that's just what I was with this one.
Truth be told, the muses and I had a little confabulation in the middle part, after we realized that nothing much had happened and nothing much was going to happen. I figured my seven-dollar student ticket need not go to waste if I wrote a bit of my novel, and so that's what I did. Mentally, of course.
I am one of those people who will lap up a boring movie if she believes in the characters. And I sensed that this movie was trying to do just that: get the audience engrossed in feeling empathy for this white man and native American woman who fell in love. Only this fell flat on its face.
First of all, and I hate to be mean, but John Smith was played by Colin Farrell. Okay, when I see that guy, I think S.W.A.T. and The Recruit, and I cringe. It's like a conditioned response. So here comes Teh-Rebellious-But Nonetheless-Respected Leader ashore...only it's not John Smith. It's Colin Farrell. No matter what movie he's in, he just looks like...Colin Farrell. And to see Colin Farrell dancing around a campfire with feathers in his hair is just...funny.
The movie also liked to slip into the heads of all three protagonists. Only it felt rather random. And just as I think that few writers can pull off the omniscient third person PoV in a story, this movie failed to pull off on film. I felt almost like the scriptwriters were too lazy to show the audience what they were trying to do with action and dialogue, and so *plop* there you were in their heads, being told how insecure/mournful/determined/whatever they were.
About halfway through the movie, I realized that it must be the longest movie and the shortest script in the world. There was almost no dialogue...and while I can see how this would be effective in showing how two persons speaking vastly different languages and growing up in different cultures can nonetheless make a connection and begin to understand each other, this didn't seem to be the case. Afterward, Bobby said that he felt that half of the movie was sweeping nature scenes.
It felt to me like the writer/director had the idea to make a Serious Movie (tm). "Hey, we want to deal with the John Smith/Pocahantas story with some fresh, new insights and make a Serious Movie all about it." I felt almost like the director said, "This would be Cool!" at certain parts. A few cans of Literary Techniques were opened and emptied.
Nor did it end quickly. In fact, the ending seemed more drawn out than the ending of The Return of the King, and this one didn't have a half-dozen subplots to tie up. But when it did end, it was like, "She got sick with fever and died and said our hope would live in our son." Then the montage: deathbed, headstone, ship back to the New World. And I felt not a glimmer of sadness. One last sweeping nature scene (during which half of the audience started laughing), and it was over.
Something tells me that when the main character dies, you should feel...something?
My rating is a disappointed three-quarters of a Keebler E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookie out of four. And it's a rather stale three-quarter-cookie at that.
Then last night, Bobby and I wanted something silly and not requiring too much thought, and so we rented Waiting.
We wanted to see this when it first came out, but it was released around the same time as North Country and Jarhead and got the axe before we ever got to theaters.
Waiting follows a restaurant crew through an ordinary day on their jobs. Now most people who have never worked in a restaurant will laugh and think it an exaggerated portrait of life as a plate-slinger. No. No way. 95% of that movie is pure truth.
The Piece, the restaurant where I used to work, was a slightly more wholesome version of Shenaniganz, from the raucous cooks to the corny training videos to the guests who eat their whole meal and then complain about how bad it was...it was like returning to a day of work at The Piece. The characters, of course, were more caricatures than anything, but we certainly had our share of each "type." The main character even reminded me of a coworker/friend of mine named Jimmy to the point where I said something to Bobby, and he remarked, "I was thinking the exact same thing!" And there were always plenty of angsty where-am-I-going-with-my-life types, those who work in food but don't want to work in food yet never seem to make much of an effort to do otherwise.
Now I will defend The Piece in saying that we did not have a penis-showing game. (Although Jimmy did undress in the doorless soda room and was known not to wear underwear.) Bobby and our coworker/friend Dave did, however, have The Gauntlet, where they would ruthlessly beat any non-cook who tried to walk through the kitchen without reason. And they had a "football" game also that was played by throwing french fries against the wall and seeing where they would land on the grill. (If they went into the tray at the front, it was a "touchdown.") So we had our silly games...but they were slightly more wholesome than trying to get one's ball to resemble a bat wing.
Nor did I ever, during my tenure there, see a cook or server "abuse" the food. Stuff that was dropped was thrown away, and body fluids did not count as ingredients. However, before you abuse your foodservice worker, a lot of places do practice this as a form of revenge against rude guests. But The Piece had something of an open kitchen and a rather germophobic (and slightly mean) kitchen manager, so those things just didn't happen there.
But the "whip-hits" in the back...happened. The people who wanted to make out or have sex in the storage rooms...happened. That *one* party that comes in five minutes before closing and orders a big meal...happened all the time. And yes, taking out the trash does take ten minutes. Actually, it used to take my friend Andrew and me at least fifteen--sometimes twenty--while he hustled himself into an early grave with cigarettes and I memorized the constellations.
It is hard for me to give this movie a fair grade. It was almost like watching a nostalgic home video of a time long (and luckily?) gone by. I even had a bit of a longing to return to my days as a kitchen manager and cook, when you knew the store would function without just about anyone but you, leaving you free to act bizzarely and make up random rules to keep the servers busy. I miss sitting around at the end of the night while the servers count their money and compare notes, while the closers finish "marrying the condiments" and mopping the floors, until you all head over to someone's house to hang out or do the logical thing after getting off from work at a restaurant: go to a restaurant that's open later than yours and hang out.
So I forgo giving this movie any Elf cookies at the moment. My feelings are mixed...just as they are mixed about my time at The Piece.
Lastly, before I stopped rambling and try to capitalize on my last hour of peace and quiet (alone!) here at the office, I am getting ready to start up a new character in my original fantasy RPG. He is three-quarters Elven (so he looks rather Elfy) and has just come of age, with brown hair and green eyes. (But the eyes aren't important, as even I can doctor them in Photoshop, I think.) I've yet to find a suitable picture for him, so if anyone knows of any cute, brown-haired Elfy-looking guys, I would be much obliged! They can be photos or drawings. Simply point me in the right direction, and I will handle it from there.
Tags:
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-09 09:25 pm (UTC)(icon)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 12:19 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 12:56 am (UTC)Btw, I'm compiling the character list for you. I hope to send it maybe tomorrow?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 01:01 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 01:04 am (UTC)(And I've also become a PC player, so there ya go....)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 12:55 am (UTC)But he definitely counts as a cute Elfy guy. :)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 01:16 pm (UTC)No promises that I'll be able to find it, but I'll try. (I actually think they had him as Dior on that page, which is kind of ironically funny.)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 01:32 pm (UTC)Original page with my Feany on it
The Curufin on that page is equally hott, and Maglor is perfect too, all angsty.
Also, while trying to find this page, I came across another page:
Other elfy pix
I dont like those as much; they're more drawings than pictures, but it has some links on it, so you can search around.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 02:25 pm (UTC)You are awesome! I need never angst over finding Elf pictures again. :^D
I'd been to the Argonath site before, yet I'd never noticed your Feany there. Probably because he was called "Dior" and I was like, "Bah! Dior??"
And incidentally, the "Thranduil" from the second page has been the protagonist of my NaNoWriMo novel for some time now, and I never knew where he came from.
Thanks so much!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 08:51 pm (UTC)Yay! I'm glad I was able to help, even a wee bit after all the enjoyment I've gotten from your stories!
Probably because he was called "Dior" and I was like, "Bah! Dior??"
Yeah, he's not Dior. Dior is not that hott.
There are so many hott elves on that page, it should be illegal!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-09 09:38 pm (UTC)http://www.fugly.com/ornot/fugly/images/upload/hairy_man_copy.jpg
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 12:56 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-09 09:40 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 12:57 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 04:52 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-09 11:47 pm (UTC)And as for The New World; well, I always thought I might want to see that movie, but now I think I'll rather save my money. ;-)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 01:03 am (UTC)I didn't see that one...but I have seen enough excerpts to know that I had a "Dude, WTF?" moment at the sight of Colin in a blond wig! There's just something inherently wrong with that.
I've seen Phone Booth and didn't find it particularly impressive. But then "action" movies don't do me that well, now that I'm getting olde and picky! :^P
And as for The New World; well, I always thought I might want to see that movie, but now I think I'll rather save my money. ;-)
Some people might like it, and I haven't read any critical reviews to see how the opinion of the "experts" compare to mine. But it's hard to bore me in a movie...and I was thoroughly bored. And unmoved.
And it's a shame because I see the topic as having a lot of potential. As a writer, I love to tackle those prickly cultural issues. And the girl who played Pocahantas did the best job of all of the actors, imho. But she couldn't push the movie into the realm of "enjoyable" for me, despite her admirable efforts.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 02:48 pm (UTC)I haven't read any critical reviews to see how the opinion of the "experts" compare to mine.
Surprisingly, it has a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 57%... almost fresh! Gah!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 03:23 pm (UTC)Colin and Britney? Ewww.... Colin's handsome enough, I suppose, when I get past the fact that he looks unequivocably like Colin Farell. :^))
Which provokes a knee-jerk bad!movie response.
But Britney looks like an alien, imho. ;^P
And 57%?? *points to icon*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 03:51 am (UTC)Lol!!! It's kind of like Best In Show. Even though it (sounds anyway) more exaggerated, I was like "Ha!!! I know people like that!"
However, the movie Drumline...ick.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 02:20 pm (UTC)But it was the really small things that made it so realistic. Like walking around the restaurant, talking to a friend, and wiping off salt and pepper shakers. I can't tell you the number of times I did something like that!
And the employees, too, were well-done caricatures of the kinds of people who tend to work in foodservice. I was a combination of the angsty where-is-my-life-going college student, eccentric cook, and sage store Keeper of Wisdom. ;)
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 05:58 pm (UTC)Though, I don't think I fit into any of the categories of people in BIS...
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 02:58 pm (UTC)Oh, and I hate Colin Farrell. Whether on the screen or in real life, he just looks scruffy and not quite sober. Yucks!
(no subject)
Date: 2006-02-10 03:28 pm (UTC)I don't think I've seen Colin Farrell in a movie yet that I've liked as more than "okay." And some--like The New World--I straight didn't like.
So while he does tend to look unwashed, whenever I see him, a montage of bad movies starts playing in my mind. Yech.