August 2017

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For the record, I strongly dislike the word "plethora."

However, it seems to best describe this latest batch of movie reviews, which are rather...erm...varied. I suppose it reveals the diversity of crap that Bobby and I are willing to pay outrageous prices to watch on a big screen.

Also, at this point, I've reviewed every movie that we've seen this year! Yay me! Granted, we've only seen six so far, but it's a good start.

Per usual, I will try to be careful with spoilers, but if you want a movie to be an absolute surprise, it is probably best to skip my review of it until after you see the movie for yourself.

Letters from Iwo Jima )

Norbit )

Hannibal Rising )
Jenni ([ profile] digdigil) recommended that we see Children of Men, an adventure movie set in the not-too-distant future and so, at her request, I am reviewing it!

Children of Men--Spoiler Warning! )
Let me say that before I meander off behind an LJ-cut that Pan's Labyrinth made up for the soul-shattering awfulness that was Primeval. If you are a fan of fantasy with a darker edge who either speaks Spanish or does not mind subtitles, this movie is well worth a look.

Pan's Labyrinth )
It is really no secret that Bobby and I are movie nuts. That one of our proudest moments was managing to see three movies in the space of a little over a day. We see on average a movie a week and see nearly everything that comes out in the fantasy and horror genres and a good mix beyond that.

I try to review all of the movies we see, but as my movie review tag indicates, I am sadly behind. (I have about a half-dozen reviews rotting in WordPad that I still need to post.) This year, I wanted to remember what movies I saw, which I liked, and which I hated. And which fell between. Two years ago, I hosted the w00t Awards, and I considered resurrecting that, but that was all full of drama the first time around and too hard to manage, so instead, Bobby and I will award our own private awards to the cinematic successes and failures of 2006.

(I'm pretty sure that I'm missing some. I reviewed the ticket stubs in my wallet, my 2006 movie reviews (sadly deficient), went through IMDB's "top" lists for 2006, scrolled each of IMDB's highest-grossing lists for 2006, and walked around the new-release wall in Blockbuster. Still, I suspect I'm missing some. Bah. Hope none were notably good or bad....)

For the record, we're only giving "awards" to those that we went to see in the theatre. We saw a good many more in DVD, but it would be simply impossible for me to attempt to list those as well.

And the Winners/Losers Are.... )

The Complete List )
I didn't have the best day diving, the Ravens are losing to the Stain (a.k.a. the Cleveland Browns--though the Ravens are at the moment driving, w00t), and I am contemplating Mexican food atop a stomach full of tank air that I swallowed while struggling at diving this morning that I cannot burp out because I am an abnormal freak. Gah. So pardon any snarkiness because my most recent movie viewing experiences haven't really been sublime.


Per usual, I am too lazy to bother cloaking my spoilers in euphemism that will confuse the hell out of anyone who's seen these movies and seeks to confabulate about them, so if you plan to see it and want to be surprised, I do not recommend reading these reviews.

Little Miss Sunshine )

The Illusionist )

The Grudge (yep, a relative oldie on DVD )

The Black Dahlia )

Flyboys )

ETA: I started these reviews yesterday. Since then, the Ravens have beaten the Stain with a late field goal, I have overcome my scuba-induced panic and feel confident to pass the last of my confined-water tests, and I managed not to barf despite the balloon in my stomach. Yayness.

And the Saints are beating the Falcons for their first home game in the Superdome since Hurricane Katrina. If this was a movie, I'd probably be complaining about the predicability of it! :^P

One last note and then I'll stfu because I need to go to bed: I am waaay behind on comments and emails. I haven't forgotten y'all. It was just One of Those Weekends, and today, I simply lacked the strength even for online communication with another human being. But I feel much better now and will send out my replies tomorrow.
Before I get down to business...

Happy birthday, [ profile] frenchpony!!!

(I know you weren't around yesterday on your actual birthday, so hopefully you'll get my belated wishes!)

We've actually seen four movies recently, but I find it impossible to review comedies, and two of the four were comedies. Funny movies seem too...personal somehow. A lot of what is funny (or not) to a person depends on their experiences, and what I find funny as a twenty-four-year-old recent college graduate and liberal who likes to write and play with Elves is going to be very different from what a fifty-four-year-old male banker and Republican who likes golf and wine thinks is funny. And I'm no good at analyzing what makes comedy work or not. So I decided to leave those two movies alone.

For the record, they were Talladega Nights and Accepted. I liked Accepted the best--but naturally, having graduated from college recently and getting ready to go back, this "college comedy" genre appeals to me. (Never mind that I do tend to have a crude sense of humor.) Talladega Nights was pretty good too--probably the best that Will Ferrell has put out in a while, imho--but yet he doesn't make me laugh like he did on Saturday Night Live. I don't know why. He was my favorite on there, but most of his movies simply aren't that funny.

I give Accepted 3.33 E.L. Fudge "Elves Exist" cookies out of four, and Talladega Nights gets 2.75, both of which are fairly good scores.

Naturally, the two that I am going to fully review are horror/suspense movies. Pretend to be shocked.

Both reviews may contain spoiler stuff, so tread with care if you are planning to see these movies and want to be completely surprised.

The Night Listener )

I am putting this part outside the cut for the benefit of my sister, since I don't know if she reads my movie reviews:

Do not see The Wicker Man. It includes as its premise an idea that--given your phobia--will cause you to not sleep well at night. If you want to know more, you can read the review, but I am keeping spoiler stuff under the cut.

But for the same reason that I told you not to see Silent Hill, you'll probably want to skip this one too.
~Your Loving Sister

The Wicker Man )
It is the summer movie season, which is a favorite time of the year for Bobby and me. We are movie enthusiasts and like to see a movie in the theater each week, filling in between with one or two rentals of those we might have missed earlier in the year or older movies that we feel we need to watch for one reason or another. We've been busy at the movies in the past two weeks, and I offer my reviews and opinions on three of the summer blockbusters: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, The Lady in the Water, and Miami Vice.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest )

The Lady in the Water )

Miami Vice )
Cut for spoilers...if you've been living in a cave for the last thirty years, that is ;) )
By request of my sister, who I talked to on the phone today (*squees!*), I am posting this movie review that was in fact written two weeks ago. I wrote it in pieces, being too busy to chug it all out in one fell swoop, but wanted to get my thoughts on paper. Those of you who know my writing know that I have a penchant for horror and darkfic, so scary stories and scary movies are my proverbial bread and butter. Understanding what makes them scary (or not)...that's tough. Fear and horror are often such personal experiences, yet there are some buttons just begging to be pushed. And that is why I write horror reviews, this one in particular. I simply never bothered to unlock it from p-lock. Well, Sharon was curious, and I told her that I'd post it for her.

Introductory Schtuff from 27 April 2006 )

Before I go any further, though, there is something that I want outside the cut: Sharon, do not see this movie. There are some very squicky fire/burning scenes that you will not like. Others on flist, if you do not like fire and burning, do not see this movie either. You will be squicked.

And you have been warned. Now onto the review, which contains potential spoilers. But I'll try to keep this to a minimum. (And isn't knowing that a movie is "horror," in itself, kind of a spoiler?)

Movie Review: Silent Hill )

Now, because I like to discuss writing and I know that some of you like to discuss writing, I will ask: What scares you in fiction? It could be movies or stories...but I think that we all have that one thing that frightens the bejesus out of us. So how did that writer do it? How can we--as authors--write convincing horror stories or scary scenes when we need to?

My Thoughts on Writing Horror...or Even Just Scary Scenes )

I am interested to know, for those of you with an interest in such things: What horror tactics (movie or book) have worked for you in the past? Do you have a secret for writing horror in your own stories? Or any definite no-no's? I'm interested to know, so leave as short, long, rambly, or irrelevant comments as you'd like.
Last Friday, Bobby and I needed a movie to see, and we ended up at The New World.

'Hey! We're making a Serious Movie (tm) here!'...The New World (*spoiler warning*) )

Then last night, Bobby and I wanted something silly and not requiring too much thought, and so we rented Waiting.

Sad...but true. What REALLY goes on behind the lines at your favorite hometown restaurant. )

Lastly, before I stopped rambling and try to capitalize on my last hour of peace and quiet (alone!) here at the office, I am getting ready to start up a new character in my original fantasy RPG. He is three-quarters Elven (so he looks rather Elfy) and has just come of age, with brown hair and green eyes. (But the eyes aren't important, as even I can doctor them in Photoshop, I think.) I've yet to find a suitable picture for him, so if anyone knows of any cute, brown-haired Elfy-looking guys, I would be much obliged! They can be photos or drawings. Simply point me in the right direction, and I will handle it from there.
...I now feel a lot less f***ed up.

Last night, Bobby and I saw  )